Lately I’ve been feeling calmer. So have my kids. I don’t know what has come over me. I’ve read two parenting books, both fairly different in their philosophies.
But both books spoke to me and centered me. I am, rather suddenly, a more confident parent.
Not that I would necessarily follow either book’s advice. But they somehow made my right-now world make sense.
There is still crying. There is still yelling. There are still unhappy children when mommy expects them to do their age-appropriate chores and won’t let them have TV or toys until the work is done (and, for the most part, the work is done together; after all, my kids are only 4 and 2, but it’s never too early to start teaching them responsibility).
I have been told by my four-year-old that she doesn’t love me when I ask her to do things that she’d rather not do (like unpack her school bag at the end of the day).
I have had my two-year-old tell me to “STOP IT MOM-MY!” when I guide him toward the pile of mega blocks he has left lying in the middle of the dining room and ask him to help me pick them up.
But all in all, I am unphased by these usual stresses. I feel more grounded; more in love with my children. More ready to help them learn how to control their anger and their outbursts; just as I have been controlling my anger and outbursts.
And from these last few weeks of calm, I can see a change in my children.
I watch with a happy heart as my daughter teaches my son a game and he stands and listens patiently as she explains what he is to do. He then proceeds to follow her instructions and they play their game together, unaware that I am watching them with a goofy smile on my face.
I watch them take turns playing with some new toys that have come into our possession as prizes for my daughter’s participation in Jump Rope for Heart. She calmly chooses which ones she will play with first and hands the rest to her brother (who doesn’t really care which toy he gets as long as he gets a new toy).
This new calm in our house reminds me of a post I wrote some time ago. So much has changed in me since then. But I can’t take all the credit. My children are growing up and becoming more mature. I miss their baby days. But I’m so in love with the little people they are becoming.
<3 way to focus your energy and positivity!
I have noticed that my boys reflect back to me my moods and behaviors. If I can keep it positive and calm then for the most part so can they. Easier said than done sometimes though!
Oh yes, so true…especially the last part
That’s great – I find it’s true for me that my kids behave better when I behave better. But sometimes it’s oh-so-hard to do. Keep it up!
Yes, I agree. In fact, I misbehaved a little last night when both my kids started whining at the same time. I sternly said there’d be no TV if they kept it up, and I guess I said it a little too sternly because my 4-yr-old daughter told me that if I was going to misbehave by yelling at her, she was going to misbehave, too. Kids have a way of putting things back into perspective.
I softened my tone and they both quit the whining. Happy family again! 
Thanks for reading!
Oh lord, do I ever need a little calm in my life. Our days feel full of meltdowns and struggles. Now that #1 is 3 and #2 is 10-months old, it is soooo hard.
So glad you are finding some calm.
That’s a tough stage. Part of finding some calm in our house has come from the natural progression of maturing the children (now ages 4.5 and 2.25). I didn’t believe it when people told me that it would get easier as my kids got older. But now that I’m there…well, lets just say it’s nice to be over those hard days. You’ll get there, too. Hang in there.
I love it when you find your stride. It took me several years before I finally did. But when you do, ahhh it is finally all worth it. I love watching my children interact with each other. How times have changed! My kids are now almost 16, 12 and 9. I love watching my oldest son work with my youngest on his baseball pitching and seeing how the youngest just soaks up what he can learn from his big brother!
I found your blog through the blogger comment club- thanks for letting me stop by.
Thanks for stopping by! My kids interact well together now, but I look forward to those days that you describe when they are really working together. That’s so wonderful that your boys are like that. It’s definitely all worth it!
Nancy, it is really true that when the mom is calm, kids will get calm too. I learned that when my kid was small. When life is busy, we will get annoyed so easily. Glad that your kids are getting more mature and more responsible. You are a great mom.
Thanks for your comments! It’s always nice to hear that other people have experienced the same things as I have.
It helps me feel like I am on the right track. 
Two 5 year old boys running around my house. Le sigh!
It’s hectic and crazy and I want to my hair and theirs out most days. And then there are the days when they play nicely and the house seems quieter and lighter. I love those days!
Kids do pick up on our moods and it can be so hard to keep it together when they are losing it! It’s something I’m still learning to do with my toddler. Sounds like you have some good practice down with your kiddos!
Thanks. And we still have a long way to go I think. Day by day. Just take it day by day.
Sounds like you’re doing a wonderful job. It helps put things in perspective to see how others parent too. I said the other day, “If you want to feel better about your parenting, just go to WalMart. I guarantee you’ll see someone doing a worse job.” Haha!
Thanks! And thanks for stopping by! That’s a great idea. Next time I’m feeling down in the dumps about my parenting skills, I’ll go to WalMart!