Now that Big Sister is pushing 5 and Little Brother has reached the Terrible Twos, I’m called upon once again to maintain my cool in the face of horrible upsets.
Thankfully, I learn my lessons well and my memory, once jogged, is long.
When I first encountered the Terrible Two monster that lived inside my daughter, I wasn’t sure how to handle it (like most parents, I assume).
But, after much pushing and pulling, I learned to deal with the visits from her inner monster. (By deal with, I mean ignore.)
And, like everything else about parenting, it was a phase that we ambled through to the best of our abilities; she testing my limits and me setting ever stricter boundaries.
That was two years ago. She’s now a capable school kid who knows her manners (for the most part) and follows the rules (again, for the most part).
Enter Little Brother. I don’t know where I put my brain on this one, but I was clearly not in possession of it when he hit the big 2. I guess I thought I’d only have to do it once. At the beginning of her second year, Big Sister was an only child. And she was, admittedly, somewhat spoiled. I assumed her inner monster stemmed from our special treatment of her.
I was wrong. Little Brother can kick and scream with the best worst of them.
My specific issue with this age category: bedtime.
I had forgotten how long it took to put Big Sister to bed at that age. Looking back, that’s probably because I didn’t do it very often. Little Brother was an infant and I was nursing, so my evenings were spent with him while Daddy took care of Big Sister’s bedtime routine.
Now Little Brother is at that stage and he only wants Mommy. It’s almost an Oedipus Complex thing.
No one can put him to bed except Mommy. And he howls in protest if anyone else (Daddy) dares to try.
But when Mommy puts him to bed, he wants to be tickled to sleep. He wants 14 books read to him. He wants 32 songs sung to him. And he wants six glasses of water.
Don’t get me wrong. He doesn’t get any of that. Ok, he doesn’t get about half of that. But no matter what I do, he screams when I finally leave the room.
It has taken some time to wrap my mind around his behaviour, but essentially, he’s just acting like a normal two-year-old. Nothing more, nothing less.
And in another six months or so, he’ll be past this phase and onto something new. Repeat parenthood mantra: This Is Just A Phase. It Too Shall Pass.
It sounds like you have the right attitude. I hope this phase doesn’t drive you too crazy.
Thanks. I appreciate the vote of confidence.
This is sage advice. Must keep that mantra on a repeat reel in my head too!
That advice has gotten me through more rough days than I can count.
My almost-2 yr old cries every night when we put her to bed also, it’s just for a little while though.
That’s good that she doesn’t cry for long. We went through it with my daughter as well. Especially if I was the one who put her to bed. I always say my husband has it so easy, but he sees it from the point of view that the kids want me more that’s why they cry when I leave and not when he leaves. He might be right. In which case, I’m flattered, but sometimes flattery is not enough.
You have a good attitude about it all. It will pass. For some unexplained reason both my boys have been good about bedtime (just not always so good about sleeping through the night or sleeping in.) Carter has been getting out of bed lately to get a glass of water or use the bathroom. We gave him a little kids lantern and told him he could stay in bed with it and read until he is ready to sleep. So far that has worked very well.
That’s a good idea. With my daughter, when she wakes up at night she always comes in to see me. My son, however, heads right to his sister’s room. I often find them both asleep in her bed in the morning. In a way, it’s nice because I only have one kid disturbing my sleep from time to time, but it also makes me kind of sad that my son doesn’t come in with me for a snuggle when he has a bad dream.
I haven’t dealt with this yet, terrible two’s are 6 months away! But it sounds like you’re doing well. And I recognise the repeating of, it is just a phase, it will pass. I hear myself mutter this often
Some kids don’t even hit the twos. Maybe you’ll be lucky!
Oooooo, that be nice