I was just overcome by a rare moment of clarity. And the cause of this? My son. He toddled into the kitchen after finishing dinner and collected his plate from the table on which lay an unfinished piece of peanut butter bread (the only thing he’ll eat right now). He walked to the kitchen door, plate held under his chin as he ate his last piece of PB bread. I noticed him doing this so I went into the kitchen and we stood there looking at each other for a moment while he finished up. He then put his plate back on the table and went to the rack to get his face cloth to wash his sticky hands and mouth. This isn’t the first time he has followed this wash-up routine, and I’m sure it won’t be the last time. But there was just something about those few minutes in time. It was like the world stopped moving, he and I were the only ones in the world, lost in that moment. His dark eyes piercing mine while he munched his PB bread with a too full mouth.
I then sat down on the kitchen floor and he wiped my mouth for me too, then he returned the cloth to the rack and went on with his playing, satisfied that he had finished everything on his dinner plate. And I was satisfied in that moment that he had received love, understanding, caring, and happiness from me. So often those moments are missed because of my obsession with plates staying on the table while we eat, crumbs staying off the floor, children’s hands and mouths being wiped properly so they don’t mess up the furniture.
What am I losing in those moments of anxiety when it doesn’t seem to matter what I do, I cannot keep my house or my kids clean? Why does it matter anyway? They are happy. They are safe. And they are loved. And why today, for apparently no reason, did this seemingly meaningless moment turn into something so great; so absolutely, all-consuming and fantastic?
Divine intervention? A nudge from above to remind me to just love my children and not to always pester them about crumbs and manners and rules? If so, I give thanks for that nudge. I wish I could get more nudges. 😉