The Observational Skills of Men

So, we all know how talented Nancy is here at Life Takes Over. Therefore, I (memyselfandkids) asked her to do a guest post on my blog and said that if she would like, I would do the same for her. She readily agreed that we would guest star on each other’s blog. With that decided, the question of a topic came up. Ultimately, we came up with a ‘he said, she said’ theme. Literally. So, read below for the ‘he said’ and when you’re done, hop over to www.memyselfandkids.wordpress.com for the ‘she said.’

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I scan the refrigerator shelves. Frustration mounts. The mumbling begins, ‘what the heck, where is the….? It’s not here?’ I’ve mentioned on occasion that I do the food shopping in my household. One of the reasons I do the food shopping is so I know what we have. My mumbling grumbling continues, ‘did we finish it, did she move it?’ I am frustrated and can’t take it anymore.

I scream upstairs to my wife, “S—, where is the syrup? Did we finish it?” No reply in the .8 seconds that I am willing to wait. “S—!”  Ohh man, my waffles are getting cold. Shoot. I was looking forward to those waffles and syrup. I stared at the table and saw the day’s newspaper lying next to my waffles. The kids were quiet – blessed t.v.  Damn – where is that syrup? “S—!”

My wife calls out to me, “Okay, okay. What is it? Why are you yelling like that?”

“Well, I kept yelling your name, and you didn’t respond.”

“I must not have heard you at first. I was in the shower. Is that okay?”

“Sorry.” I am too. I have no interest in arguing. I just want to have a nice calm and peaceful breakfast. Is that too much to ask? “Anyway, umm do we still have syrup? You didn’t finish it – did you?”

“No, I didn’t finish it. Relax.”

“So, where is it then?”

“Check on the third shelf down.”

“I looked. It’s not there.”

“Check on the shelf.”

“I checked there too. Ohh man. Are you sure you didn’t finish it?” My wife appears in the kitchen? “You didn’t have to come down. Why did you have to come down?”

“’Cause you’re acting like a lunatic.”

“What are you talking about? I’m not acting like a lunatic. I just really wanted the syrup – made the waffles already. I should have checked before I made them.” My wife pulls the syrup out in under 10 seconds. “What? Where was that? I looked everywhere.”

“You are like the children. If something is not right in front of your face and you can’t find it in two seconds, you freak out.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is.” She smiles and walks away.

It’s not true. I don’t think it is. I take pride in my observational skills. I remember when I was younger my dad could never find anything. I was an expert finder then. I have not become him – have I?

Okay, so my wife does have a better grasp of all things Bernstein household. I admit it. She knows the name of the boys’ teachers, therapists, friends, etc. I don’t know how she does it. However, I have something to admit. I’m glad she does, so I don’t have to. She sweats details, worries during the middle of the night, and perpetually analyzes how to make things better for our family.

Yes, our household goes as she goes. Thanks dear.

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Alright Nancy at Life Takes Over, this dad gave moms their due. You deserve it, though I still sympathize with my brethren who have found plenty of things over the years.  What do you have to say about that? Check it out at www.memyselfandkids.wordpress.com

 

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7 thoughts on “The Observational Skills of Men

  1. Pingback: Where’s the……..?! « memyselfandkids

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