The bully in my head

Positivity is something we can cultivate. If you walk around all day telling yourself you’re no good at something or berating yourself for the way you handled a situation earlier, you are going to believe that you are no good at that thing or that you didn’t handle that situation right.

This isn’t rocket science. We all know that we should speak kindly to others and to ourselves. But how many of us really, I mean really do it?

What if you could hook up a microphone and speakers to your brain and could broadcast your thoughts (the ones that your personal sports broadcaster is always reporting in your head like a playback of every move you make throughout the day)? What would you hear? What would other people hear?

Would it be like listening to a bully trying to bring you down to their level? Or would it be an encouraging voice, guiding you through your day and reminding you that you are special, that you are worth something, and that you matter?

And you know that moment when you’re standing in line at the grocery store and you admonish your child for some misbehaviour and then you realize that perhaps you were just a bit too loud and a bit to harsh and now people are staring at you and probably judging your parenting tactics? Well, if you hooked up that microphone and speakers to your brain and broadcasted your thoughts, every single one of them—good or bad—how would people look at you then? Would they judge you for being too harsh to yourself? Or would they think you were a kind and understanding soul just trying to do your best?

The voice in my head would probably be nasty most days. I’m forever beating myself up for not doing better, for procrastinating too much, for mistakes I’ve made in the past that I can’t change but that I can’t let go of either.

But some days, the voice in my head is a lot nicer to me. I don’t know why that is. What’s different on those days? Am I more conscious of being nice to myself? Does the sun shine brighter on those days? Or do I just finally get fed up with the bully and decide to do something about it?

Whatever it is, I’m determined to make that nice voice hang around. I’m a happier person when I’m nice to myself. And I think that’s important to the world around me; being happy. If we were all grumps, who would cheer us up?

With that in mind, I’m going to jot down every thought that the voice in my head sends my way for a couple of days. And I’m going to track my moods and my activities that go along with those thoughts.

And just to make sure that I do this and not put it off (like so many other things that I have planned to do), I’m going to write about. You are going to hold me to it. The expectation of my readers that I report back with the details of this project is what’s going to make this happen.

It might be raw and painful, but it’s something I think I have to do to really conquer this bully in my head. It’s time to take a stand and be nice to myself.

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6 thoughts on “The bully in my head

  1. memyselfandkids.com

    I really like this post very much. I think it is an interesting thing to consider – that voice in your head and microphone blasting out the info. I am pretty sure most of us would not want to advertise our thoughts.
    I battle this negativity, but for me, it comes in the form about the need to accomplish more.

    Reply
  2. spemma

    I’m glad you pointed me in this direction! What an enjoyable and well written article, of course I totally agree with you on this point, and can we question how this self-bullying arises more in some people than others, is it down to cultural exposure, environment, our up bringing or simply our biology! Thanks 🙂

    Reply
  3. Pingback: Five Minute Friday – Listen | Life Takes Over

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