So I got to thinking the other day about blogging and writing and what it all means to me. I started this blog because I like to write and because I found myself talking about my kids and my life with friends (no I’m not narcissistic [well, maybe a little bit]. I do listen to my friends to) and realizing that, even though I thought I had nothing to write about and no one would find my stories interesting even if I did write them down, my stories are likely similar to every other mom with a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old, but they are from my POV. No one else comes at life from where I stand.
Enter blogging. I decided to stop boring my friends by telling them my stories and start writing them down so they could choose to read them at their leisure.
What this resulted in was a clearer mind for me. One that was more able to focus on what really matters to me in my life. Yes, I now have an extra “responsibility” to my readers to write on a regular basis and to give them content that is entertaining and thought provoking, but that responsibility is a joy to me. I love writing. And in so doing, I get to connect with so many other people.
I digress. This is supposed to be about the mommy blogger’s mind, not what I’m getting out of the experience personally.
It starts with desire (probably life-long) to write. It grows into stories about the kids, about life lived one load of laundry at a time, about husbands late from work, about schedules juggled and carpools executed. It’s funny stories and sad stories and really-really-hard-to-put-into-words stories. It gets watered and nurtured and it continues to grow and the mommy blogger grows along with it, ever stretching and changing just as she did when she carried her child and nurtured it with her own body, ever changing and ever growing until it was ready for the world.
And that’s where the mommy blogger’s mind hits fear. What if I can’t protect my baby? What if I can’t continue to help it grow? I don’t have the skills. I don’t have the know-how.
And the mommy blogger’s mind steps back from this great thing called blogging. The mommy blogger shrinks from the connections she’s making and worries that her blog isn’t good enough to be friends with that other mother’s blog. She worries that she will be asked to do something that she is not capable of and then what?
I have been there. In my short blogging life (November 2011 – present) I have blogged furiously and with love and fun, enjoying every single second that I get to put fingers to keyboard. I have also drifted away from it, afraid, shy, worried that I’m not good enough or witty enough or technically savvy enough to compete.
But who am I competing with? I didn’t start this blog to compete. I started it to share stories and connect with others who might understand the funny, the hard, the tiring, the pain, the happiness, the joy, the suffering, the frustration of this journey called motherhood. Or did I start it because I wanted to share my journey through this thing called Life? The lines are blurred now.
The time has come (and maybe this should have been the first step, but I am a novice blogger) to create a mission statement. What is this blog about? Where will I go with it? Ideas are becoming clearer. A path is being chosen. Action will be taken. It’s time to frame the work.