Help for not a new mom

Dear reader, I’m appealing to you. If you are the mother of child who is three years old, or the mother of a child who is four years old, and you have some inkling how to deal with three-year-olds, please send me some advice.

As you know, I have a five- and a three-year-old. I have been through the three-year-old phase before. I have only vague memories of it. I recall nothing of how I dealt with this phase, nor do I seem to possess any skills that, having navigated this phase, I may have developed.

And now I am deep in the phase again. And I haven’ how to handle the three-year-old.

He is defiant for the sake of being defiant.

I ask him to put his shoes on in the morning. His simple answer is “No.”

I repeat my request. He repeats his answer.

I offer him some help. He says, “No.”

I insist that he put his shoes on because now it’s time to go. He stands firm with a “No.”

I ignore his defiance and put on my own shoes, then instruct his sister that it’s time to leave and she needs to get her shoes on. She complies. I pray that her obedience will encourage him. He stands resolute in his decision not to put his shoes on.

I continue to ignore the behaviour and head out the door to the car. With Big Sister safely secured in her booster seat, I go back into the house and tell him one more time to put his shoes on. He smiles his ever-so-charming smile and says, you guessed it, “No.”

I pick him up and carry him to the car. He kicks and screams the whole way. I deposit his shoes on the floor of the backseat, reminding myself not to scream at him, then I get in the car and drive him to preschool.

This is my morning. Every morning.



11 thoughts on “Help for not a new mom

    1. Nancy Post author

      He doesn’t like preschool; hasn’t since he started in September. Today is his last day. So it’s probably a combination of that and the fact that he’s three and defiant for the sake of being defiant. I’ve been told he’s testing his boundaries with me. I can’t wait until he’s done!

  1. on thehomefrontandbeyond

    put a kindle egg in his shoes and tell him he can have it if he puts his shoes on — I am a true believer in rewards and yes I did spoil my children but they are 22 and 27 now and they are not still looking for kindle eggs to put on their shoes

    1. Nancy Post author

      Good tactic. I’ll give it a try. This morning I did something similar. I put a packet of fruit gummies in the car and then told him that if he got his shoes on and got in the car without a fuss there was a treat waiting for him. It worked. Although, I don’t think it will work every day. He catches on quick.

  2. Daniela Ferrante

    I don’t know why everyone calls it the Terrible 2’s because we sailed through that stage and 3 & 4 were the hardest…so far LOL! It’s great that you can stay calm, because I was the opposite of that, but I’ve never felt so frustrated in all my life! Rewards seemed to work for us too. Just know that eventually it will pass.

    1. Nancy Post author

      Hi! Thanks for stopping by my blog!
      I don’t always keep my cool. I’ve been known to yell on more occasions than I care to admit to. :S It just amazes me that I went through this with my daughter and yet, it has taken me by surprise again. Why should my son be any different? He’s entitled to his own phases. I just didn’t think I’d have to go through it again. LOL!

  3. dusterbed

    Lucky he’s cute! I don’t have kids, so I have no idea. When one of my dogs refuses to do something they are told – I force them to do it, just to show who is boss (except for when they refuse to poop, that’s hard to force). But then again, they are dogs πŸ˜‰ Don’t forget that regardless of what your little ones do, that you’re always the boss. I remember being a kid and trying to be defiant. After 3 or 4 defiant replies from me, mom usually just made me do whatever I was refusing. It worked! I always knew she was the boss, no matter what – I was just being a pain.


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