Tag Archives: alone time

Keep picking yourself up

Yesterday was not so amazing. Actually, it was pretty awful.

I won’t go into details, but lets just say the grey seep of four straight days without sun or the feel of fresh air on skin took over our brains and made the three of us into angry little grumps.

“Little” is the key word in that phrase, because that’s what it felt like. We were all being little, no one was willing to step up and be the bigger person. I know it’s my job to be that person. I’m the mom. I’m the adult. But yesterday I just didn’t feel like adulting for my kids. I wanted to adult with other adults. I wanted to bury myself in my work and have work-related conversations with other work-minded people sharing the same kind of work as me. And I realized this morning as I lay in the dark before my alarm went off: I’m having a hard time adjusting to being the adult alone in the house with two kids all day. And my husband, bless him, is doing his best to understand where I’m coming from each evening when he comes home. But he has his own stresses that aren’t being addressed.

My kids need me to stand up and be a big person. That’s what I think yesterday was about. They were looking for guidance in this strange new world and they weren’t finding any.

They don’t want to be with me all day, but they need me to show them how to get through this. They miss their friends. They miss their freedom. They miss the routine of school even though I’ve set up the same basic routine at home. They are doing it alone, without their friends to crack jokes with or work on projects with or head outside for recess with. I miss all the same things and I’m not doing a good job of finding alternatives to what I’ve lost.

And with the return to school now extended until May, we are facing an even longer time without our own lives. We have to find a way to make it work together.

I’m looking into technology to get ahead of this a bit. It won’t be the same, exactly, but it will be something. At the start of all this, my son had plans with a friend to build some stuff (not sure what) out of cardboard boxes he’d found in our shed. He can still do that, but it will be over video chat with his buddy.

My daughter is still texting and video chatting with her friends, so she needs little encouragement to carry on her social life.

And school and the programs they were in (theatre and soccer) are starting to come online with schooling, fitness and skill training, and script and dance rehearsals.

Though this adds another layer of scheduling and organizing to to my days—managing each kid’s online access and making sure they are logged in to the appropriate platform at the appropriate time—I’m going to do my best to roll with it. Hopefully, in time, my kids will learn to manage those things themselves (the technology and the scheduling).

There will be stumbles, but the important thing is that we pick ourselves up and keep going.