Tag Archives: Life Takes Over

Boundaries in an Overconnected World

The title of this book grabbed me. It took hold of all the swirling thoughts and buzzing phones and beeping computers and spun them around in my head until I could only see blurred lines from all the chaotic movement.

What I wanted to do was draw a circle around my brain just inside the vortex of buzzing and beeping and ringing and people vying for my attention and call that my boundary and force all of the noise out.

That’s what I pictured when I read the title of the book.Boundaries cover_a

And that’s what the book is all about. How to draw that line, create that boundary, stop the noise.

Anne Katherine authored another book called Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin, which I now of course have to read because it’s the basis for the concept of boundaries.

And if there’s something I’m not good at, it’s creating and maintaining boundaries.

On page 73, Anne Katherine succinctly describes my biggest issue with boundaries (or lack thereof):

“Yikes! You Mean I Have to Set Each of My Boundaries Myself?

As with any new skill, boundary setting can feel awkward at first. Many of us fear we’ll lose a friend if we set a boundary. But think about the cost to the friendship if you don’t set a boundary. Over time, the friendship is likely to fade anyway if your boundaries continue to be trampled (or if you keep trampling on someone else’s).”

To get to the meat of Boundaries in an Overconnected World, it’s a fantastic read, straightforward, serious and relevant. Though I enjoyed the whole book and all the help it provided as I become better able to establish boundaries, I was particularly interested in Chapter 10: Protecting Your Children.

As my kids get older (and spend more time online), I’m going to have to start thinking about the boundaries for them. As Anne Katherine says in her book, “Children and teens are so accustomed to computers and life online that we grownups can easily feel that they are way beyond our own capacity with electronic media. They probably are. But we still have better judgment and a clearer idea of how a chain of events can become dangerous.”

Chapter 10 provides great tips and tools for parents to help their children develop boundaries for their online activities. But beyond that, Anne Katherine really gets to the heart of the “connection” issue. Boundaries in a digital world are as much about setting rules and guidelines as they are about creating real connection with each other. She states in chapter 10: “Working closely with your children around Internet use automatically strengthens family intimacy boundaries.”

And, as a parent, what I want most is for my kids to be involved and understand why we set boundaries, and for them to know that, no matter what they encounter in the great big digital world, they can always come to me and their dad and we will help them.

For those without children, Boundaries in an Overconnected World also covers personal information boundaries, online dating, chat rooms, work boundaries and many other useful topics including what to do if you can’t set boundaries for yourself.

It’s a very well-written book with lots of helpful information. Given how busy life tends to get and the fact that my blog’s name is based on how much Life Takes Over, becoming more clear on boundaries by reading this book is going to be very useful.

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Title: Boundaries in an Overconnected World: Setting Limits to Preserve Your Focus, Privacy, Relationships, and Sanity
Author: Anne Katherine
ISBN: 978-1-60868-190-7

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I received a review copy of Boundaries in an Overconnected World. The opinions above are entirely my own. I received no compensation for my review.

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